Blog | Compassionate Care Counseling Services

I hear you.

Posted By Elana Klemm, MA, LPC, NCC 03-26-2020

During these unprecedented times, fear, anxiety, isolation, and depressive episodes are prevalent within mental health. These are now pressing matters within an entire globe of humans, ourselves included. In a globalized state of uncertainty, how can we help? How can we make these uncertain times more settling? I know that this question has been circulating my thought process and understanding of the challenges being faced, and for some of my patients, situations such as isolated quarantine could heighten their symptoms to a crippling state.

I hear you.

I hear my patients’ concerns and thoughts.

I hear my colleagues’ who are searching for solutions

I can’t say I have the answers, but I can tell you the practices and reflections that I know are helpful during these hard times. Just like we approach all thought processes, we must observe the situation and realize what is entirely out of our control AND acknowledge that we are indeed in control of how we respond.

We all have the power to refocus and reboot!

Even in times of uncertainty, it presents us opportunity! Now it is a wonderful time to practice being in the moment. Hours could come and go if we focus too much on the news and constant updates. We all have been presented an opportunity to put our phones away, log off our computers, and hide the TV remote, and, indeed, be present. Whether they are members that live in your households, your pets, yourself, allow yourself to be completely in the moment.

The ever-changing news of Covid-19 and the media surrounding the situation can be a constant buzz, if you let it. Now is a good time to limit our screen time and decipher what is essential news and what news is that is just reporting on Covid-19 because it’s a hot topic. Important news would be information that is provided by trusted professionals in the field, direct information from government officials, and updates from the World Health Organization. To ease our minds from the constant ring of media, allow yourself to designate times to check the news and times to walk away from it all completely. We must remember that the information being released is ongoing and consistent. Find truth and block the noise.

Yes, we are stuck in our homes, but we get the opportunity to be with our families and slow down. Instead of letting negative energy consume our thoughts, we have been granted the spaces to practice making a mindset shift!

Businesses are closing their doors, but you have what we need and when you don’t, in due diligence, you can go shopping for those items.

Social distancing feels like isolation, but it makes contacting the people we love most more often and more creatively!

There is a lot of uncertainty right now, but you know what is in your control and what is out of your control. You have the power to make this situation amazing.

If we change our mindset to be positive, then opportunities for growth are endless. There are two kinds of anxiety: productive anxiety and unproductive anxiety. We can turn our anxiety into something productive. Moments like this also bring greif. That’s right, greif. Greif requires us to feel a kind of sadness that makes many of us so uncomfortable that we try to get rid of it. As much as there is collective anxiety surrounding Covid-19, but there’s also collective loss. Cognitive approaches for mindfulness will be vital in finding a balance in your life. You’ve been given an opportunity to focus on activities that you love, regardless of the things you may be losing.

Take a moment to stop and think about the passions in your life you may have neglected due to busy schedules. These are the tasks that you wish you could invest more time in and feel accomplished when you do pursue these passions wholeheartedly! Remember that book you wanted to dive into? Do you have a jigsaw puzzle laying around the house? Maybe this spring is the spring you start your garden back up? Fueling your joys can lead to positive emotions that keep the anxiousness away. Allow yourself to pour energy into yourself and hobbies, without the stress/obligations you may have otherwise had.

I also am a big encourager of trying a practice that is way outside your comfort zone. These are practices that you may have tried in the past or just figured it “wouldn’t be your thing.” It turns out, with more free time, you can try something new, and that is focused solely on bettering yourself! Even if they sound silly, or maybe uncomfortable at first, there is no harm in trying something new. If you open your mind and embrace the challenge, you might find a new practice that enhances your headspace. Here are some fun ideas to consider:

In recent years, adult coloring books, paint by numbers, or even diamond by numbers have grown in popularity! They stimulate creativity and focus, but can be relaxing and meditative. Don’t have access to a bookstore? Apps like Colorfy allow you to be artistic on any device.
Jogging/walking. Physical activity is allowed and encouraged during these times. Start with a lap around the block and increase each day.
Meditation is a great practice for slowing down racing thoughts and being present. If you are new to meditation, apps such as Calm and Headspace, can guide you through the process.

What’s great about being home and trying something new is that you are in a low stakes situation. You have control over the energy and effort. If you do try something new, give it a change and allow yourself to feel a little uncomfortable outside of your comfort zone. It’s ok if it doesn’t go to plan or you draw something messy. You are simply trying to better yourself and that is admirable!

As great as these practices can work for an at-home activity, remember that mental health professionals are still available for our patients. We have not left you and can accommodate. Virtual meeting programs can be scheduled for your convenience. To anyone that has paused their sessions or hasn’t yet scheduled an initial appointment, this might be the perfect time to move forward in your mental health journey.

For my colleagues, this is the time to be encouraging more and more patients to connect with you, even if it is not in person. It has been our duty to protect and serve those struggling with their mental health, and COVID-19 cannot take that spirit to save others away from us.

This is a great time to adapt, promote, and destigmatize the taboo around mental health because we know that globalized fear and uncertainty are affecting more than just our patients. Together we can make a push to encourage those in need to seek mental health professionals through social media, advertisements, and newsletters.

In times like these, we are reminded of the things that we have taken for granted: the people in our lives we love, our careers, going grocery shopping after work, and so forth. We can stand together and find creative solutions to the responses that are in our control. The pandemic canceling my father’s 90th birthday party, after months of organizing and planning? Out of my control. But my family members all attending our virtual, online video conference to celebrate made me realize that this pandemic cannot take away our ability to love and lean on those who make us feel safe and secure. Never could we have thought that a moment like this would encourage us all to reevaluate our priorities, be mindful of what matters most for the greater good, or lay rest our ability to be a provider of service that is needed more than ever. We all have moments of surprise, that catch us off guard and throw a wrench in plans, but a pandemic? We’ve all got this. We can do this together with love, kindness, and support from one another.

Walk and Talk Therapy: Nature’s Healing Power

For as long as there have been human beings on this planet, there have been people who took a walk when they were feeling a strong negative emotion. There is just something so beneficial about walking. It seems to calm us down and clear our head so we can think from a calm and logical state instead of an emotional one.

So it makes complete sense that some people would be drawn to walk and talk therapy.

What is Walk and Talk Therapy Exactly?

Walk and talk therapy is a type of outdoor therapy and it is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of sitting in an office environment with your therapist, the two of you get out into the great outdoors and have your session during a lovely walk in nature.

Why Try It?

There are a variety of reasons to give this form of talk therapy a try. To start, it can be hard for some people to process their emotions while sitting still. Our bodies seemed to be designed to move while processing emotions.

Second, many people find the traditional talk therapy format awkward. Sitting in a tiny space with your therapist staring at you as you try and open up and bare your heart and soul is not an easy thing to do. But walking side by side while looking at beautiful nature helps make someone feel calm and open. There’s no doubt nature can be very healing, which makes it the perfect space for therapy.

What Can Walk and Talk Therapy Help With?

Walk and talk therapy can be very effective at treating numerous mental health issues such as:

Anxiety
Depression
Self-Esteem Issues
Life Transitions
Stress
Anger
Bereavement

Is Walk and Talk Therapy Right for Me?

If you enjoy being out in nature and are interested in a holistic approach to mental health, then walk and talk therapy may be a great fit for you. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety or are having a hard time processing your emotions and are interested in giving this form of therapy a try, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.

SOURCES:

https://welldoing.org/article/what-is-walk-and-talk-therapy

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/walk-and-talk-therapy/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/walk-and-talk-therapy-new-york-ny/52552

Am I Sad or Depressed?

Into each life a little rain must fall is a way of saying every one of us will experience sadness in our lifetime. It is completely normal and natural. But there are some people who feel something deeper and darker than sadness, and they may feel this way despite there being no triggering event such as the loss of a loved one.

So how can we tell the difference between sadness and depression?

Sadness versus Depression: The Real Difference?

As I just mentioned, sadness is a normal reaction to a difficult event in our life. We may feel sad because of a breakup or from losing a loved one or from leaving our friends after graduation. In other words, we feel sadness about something.

Depression, on the other hand, affects not only our emotions but also how we act and perceive the world. Depression does not require a triggering event. In fact, when we’re depressed, we tend to feel upset about any- and everything.

Depression clouds our entire lives. When we’re depressed, nothing feels as enjoyable or worthwhile as it once did. In short, we simply feel less alive.

Symptoms of Depression

To be diagnosed with depression, an individual must be diagnosed with at least five of the following common symptoms for a continual duration of at least two weeks:

An irritable or depressed mood
A decreased interest in once enjoyable activities
Changes in weight or appetite
Changes in our sleep patterns
Feeling sluggish most days; having a lack of energy and motivation
Feelings of worthlessness
Trouble focusing or concentrating
Suicidal ideation

If you or a loved one are experiencing depressed, it is very important to reach out for help from a trained mental health therapist. Depression robs you of your life, purpose and happiness, but there are strategies to break free and find joy once again.

I would be happy to discuss some treatment options with you. Please give my office a call.

SOURCES:

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/depression-vs-sadness

https://screening.mhanational.org/content/am-i-depressed-or-just-sad/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201510/the-important-difference-between-sadness-and-depression

Coping With Grief After Losing a Marriage, Engagement, or Dating Relationship

Have you recently gone through a divorce, a broken engagement, or a breakup? The loss of a romantic relationship can be especially difficult because we spend so much time with our significant others, so a separation can impact many aspects of our lives and leave us feeling like our world has been turned upside down. Not only do we have to cope with missing them, but we also have to deal with the hassles of splitting up any shared property and possibly finding a new home. Plus, we must accept that the dreams we had of a future with that person are no longer a possibility.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to process your grief and move on from your relationship. For instance, you may want to try:

Spending time with family and friends
Talking to a therapist
Making time for self-care each day
Incorporating exercise into your daily routine
Starting a new hobby

As difficult as it may seem, try to look at your breakup as an opportunity to rediscover yourself and the things that make you who you are. For example, if you’ve always loved baking but you didn’t get to bake as often as you wanted during your relationship, try purchasing a new cookbook or signing up for a local cake decorating class.

Do You Need Help Healing From Loss?

If you’re having a hard time coping with the loss of a marriage, engagement, or dating relationship, one of the best ways to process your grief is to speak to a therapist. Contact us today and we can tell you more about our practice, answer any questions you might have, and schedule a therapy session.

How to Regulate Your Emotions with Mindfulness

Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat of WW III. Needless to say, these events can trigger some pretty strong emotions in us.

We never want to fully deny our emotions. Feeling them is how we process the events of our lives. But there comes the point where we need to figure out a way to move through the emotions and get safely to the other side. One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness.

What is Mindfulness & How Can It Help?

Mindfulness is a simple, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is a powerful way to connect with our bodies and emotions, but in a higher state of awareness.

Mindfulness helps us regulate our emotions by putting us in a calm and relaxed state of presence. From here we can have a more mature and sensible point of view of the events in our lives.

Second, when practiced regularly, mindfulness can help us develop skills that promote emotional maturity and self-regulation. These skills include self-awareness and attentional control.

And finally, mindfulness can increase the time between trigger and response. In this way, mindfulness acts a bit like an advanced warning system, alerting us to a potential ugly scene, giving us time to engage in emotional self-monitoring. This gives us the opportunity to choose our emotional response very, very carefully.

Getting Started with Mindfulness

There are many online resources for getting started with a mindfulness meditation practice. Spend some time searching Google and exploring Youtube for some helpful sites and videos.

If you are interested in working privately with someone on regulating your emotions, please reach out to me. I use mindfulness in my practice with clients and would be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Sources:

Four Ways Mindfulness Can Help Regulate Your Emotion

How Mindfulness Works to Regulate Emotion in Your Brain

https://mentalhealthmatch.com/articles/skills/what-is-mindfulness-and-how-to-use-it-to-regulate-emotions

What Is Disenfranchised Grief?

Disenfranchised grief is a type of grief that isn’t accepted or acknowledged by society. (This makes sense, as Merriam-Webster defines “disenfranchised” as being “deprived of some right, privilege, or immunity.”) For example, people may tell the grieving person that they should be “over it” by now. Unfortunately, when someone’s grief isn’t validated by those around them, they may not get the support they need to cope with their loss, which can in turn prolong the grieving period.

When Is Grief Disenfranchised?

Disenfranchised grief can occur whenever someone’s grief doesn’t align with societal expectations. For instance, your grief may be disenfranchised if:

You’re grieving the loss of someone who wasn’t a close friend or immediate family member.
You regularly experience death as part of your job, and as such, your loved ones expect you to not take those losses so personally (this is common among doctors, nurses, and EMTs).
You’re grieving the loss of something other than life (e.g., a friendship or a job).
You’re not experiencing the emotions normally associated with grief (e.g., sadness and anger).
Your grief lasts longer than your loved ones expect it to.

Discuss Your Grief With a Professional

Disenfranchised grief can lead to serious consequences, such as depression, low self-esteem, withdrawal from social circles, and substance abuse. So, if you think you may be experiencing disenfranchised grief, it’s important that you speak to a therapist who specializes in healing from loss. Contact us today to schedule an appointment with one of the knowledgeable therapists at our practice.

11 Surprising Benefits of a Good Night’s Sleep

There’s nothing better than the refreshed feeling you have when you wake up from a restful night of sleep. But did you know that sleep can do much more than just alleviate fatigue? It’s true! Getting a sufficient amount of sleep can:

Improve your cardiovascular (heart) health
Regulate your blood sugar (reducing your risk for Type 2 diabetes)
Reduce food cravings
Help you maintain a healthy weight
Support muscle growth
Strengthen your immune system
Reduce your risk of injury
Increase your attention span and productivity
Make it easier for you to learn and remember information
Reduce stress
Improve your mood

How Much Sleep Should You Be Getting?

Considering all the benefits that a good night’s sleep can offer, it’s important that we get the correct amount of shut-eye. But how much sleep is enough? Experts generally recommend that adults sleep between seven and nine hours each night. (Notably, statistics published by the Sleep Foundation indicate that more than one-third of adults sleep less than seven hours a night, on average.)

Are You Struggling With Insomnia?

If you regularly have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, contact us today. Given how many benefits can result from a good night’s sleep, it’s critical that you promptly address any insomnia concerns, and we can help. We’ll be happy to tell you about our practice and our approach to treating insomnia, and if you feel that we’re a good match for your needs, we can schedule a therapy session at a date and time that’s convenient for you.

How to Co-Parent on Birthdays, Holidays & Other Special Occasions

Co-parenting can present obstacles at any time of the year, but it tends to be especially difficult on birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions. Here are a few tips for how to approach your next big event:

Decide on a schedule ahead of time. Chances are good that your co-parenting schedule will already be laid out in your custody agreement. If it’s not, make a point to discuss arrangements with your ex-partner well before the big day. Some co-parents alternate holidays—for example, mom gets Thanksgiving and dad gets Christmas one year, then they switch the following year—while others split those days in half. If you get along well with your ex-partner, you could even try spending the days together.
Be flexible. While it’s generally important to stick to your time-sharing schedule, being flexible every once in a while can go a long way toward building a friendly co-parenting relationship. If you were supposed to have your child all day on Easter but your ex-mother-in-law is throwing a big family party that morning, consider letting your child attend. Your ex-partner may extend you the same generosity on future occasions.
Communicate as much as possible. As long as it’s healthy and safe for you to do so, try to stay in touch and update your ex-partner on your plans so that you’re both on the same page. That way, you’ll avoid snafus like having both co-parents purchase the same birthday gift.

Take the First Step Toward a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship

Do you and your ex-partner often struggle to co-parent the child or children that you share? Our therapists know how difficult co-parenting can be—especially on birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions—and we’ll draw on our many years of experience to provide you with helpful advice on how to approach this situation. Contact us today to schedule your first therapy session.

How to Support a Loved One Through a Panic Attack

Do you have a friend or family member who regularly experiences panic attacks? If so, you may be looking for ways to recognize when these attacks are taking place and offer your support. We’ve got the answers you need below.

How to Recognize a Panic Attack

Even if you’ve experienced panic attacks yourself, it can be difficult to tell when someone around you is having one. Your loved one may be experiencing a panic attack if:

They’re flushed, sweating, or otherwise appear to be hot (for example, they might have taken off an outer layer of clothing).
They’re shivering or shaking.
They’re hyperventilating or having trouble breathing.
They suddenly went quiet.

How to Help Someone During a Panic Attack

If you think that a friend or family member might be having a panic attack, it’s important to stay calm and treat them gently. You may want to:

Reassure them that they’re safe, the panic attack will be over soon, and you’ll stay with them in the meantime.
Guide them through breathing exercises.
Take them outside or open a window so they can get some fresh air.
Take them to a more private place.
Bring them a glass of water.

If your loved one frequently has panic attacks, you may want to ask them when they’re feeling calmer about how they’d like to be supported in the future.

Get Help With Your Loved One’s Panic Attacks

If you have a friend or family member who regularly experiences panic attacks, we encourage you to meet with one of the knowledgeable therapists at our practice. We have extensive experience treating panic attacks, and we can supply you with tools and tips for how to support your loved one. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.

Narcissism vs. Self-Confidence

Many people throw around the term “narcissist” very casually, using it to describe an individual with high self-esteem rather than one who actually has narcissistic personality disorder. Below, we explain what narcissism is and how it differs from self-confidence.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an excessive need to feel important and impress other people. Narcissistic individuals often:

Have an inflated sense of self-worth
Believe that they’re superior to others
Feel that they’re entitled to be treated in a special way
Fantasize about having success, power, beauty, and intelligence
Envy other people’s success
Exploit their friends and family members
Lack empathy
Act like snobs, treating others in a condescending manner

Interestingly, many people with narcissism internally doubt and criticize themselves, which can cause them to become preoccupied with being admired and knowing what others think about them.

How Narcissism Differs From Self-Confidence

It’s important to have a healthy sense of self-confidence, but when does that cross over into narcissism? Self-confident individuals reasonably believe in their own capabilities but also recognize that others have value, too. Narcissists, on the other hand, tend to excessively admire themselves and look at others with disdain.

Learn More About Narcissistic Personality Disorder

If you think you might be a narcissist—or if you have a loved one with narcissistic personality disorder—contact us today. We specialize in treating patients with narcissism, and we’d love the opportunity to help you overcome any struggles you might currently be experiencing.

The Link Between Social Media & Infidelity

Social media offers a number of benefits. It can help us feel more connected to our loved ones, introduce us to like-minded individuals who have similar interests, keep us updated on news and current events, and inspire us to try new things, just to name a few.

Unfortunately, social media can also make it easier for people to cheat on their significant others. Here are just a few reasons why:

Social media has made it easier than ever for people to meet each other and discreetly exchange messages and pictures.
Many people use social media to look up their exes, which can lead to them wanting to rekindle the relationship.
Social media allows people to reinvent themselves online in a way that they couldn’t do in person.
Some individuals don’t consider online affairs to be cheating in the same way as physical affairs (even if their partners disagree), making them more likely to engage in infidelity.

Notably, even when someone isn’t actually cheating, social media can cause their partner to feel jealous or suspicious and motivate them to start snooping around. This can lead to feelings of mistrust, betrayal, and resentment, which can negatively impact the relationship.

Experienced Therapists Specializing in Infidelity

Are you looking for a therapist who can help you move on from infidelity? The therapists on our team have extensive experience working with individuals who have cheated or been cheated on, and that background has provided us with unique insight into the connection between social media and infidelity. Contact us today to schedule your first therapy session.